Why Your Disco Calls Suck (And How to Fix Them)

Jan 28, 2023

Read time: 3 minutes

I've led over 300 discovery calls since I've started tracking them three years ago. 336 to be exact. I've also spent tens of thousands of dollars on my own coaching which has allowed me to be on the other side of the conversation with incredible people in the industry.

Today I'm going to show you how to drastically improve your disco calls.

Get this right and the people you're speaking with will feel deeply understood by you. You'll uncover their true pains, their actual needs, and the real reason why making this change is so important to them.

And you'll enroll more people.

Unfortunately, many struggle with their disco calls because...

  • They're focused on the wrong person

  • They don't get beyond surface-level answers

  • They don't know how to get to the more meaningful stuff

Here's how you can fix that.

1. Shut the F**K Up, It's Not About You

Is this too harsh? Maybe. But I recently had a half-hour call with someone that I was considering working with and they spent 27 of our 30 minutes in a monologue about them, their journey, and their approach. 

Shut up. The call is about them, not you.

While it's perfectly normal that some will ask specific questions, if you regularly have people showing up on disco calls needing you to give a full breakdown of who you are, what you do, and how you do it, your content isn't working.

You're either missing key components in your content mix or you're getting on calls with people too soon.

When you're doing content right, it's enrolling people for you.

The bulk of your disco calls should be you asking them questions and reflecting back what you're hearing. When you get awesome at this, you make people feel seen and understood.  And when you're incredible at providing people clarity on their pains and problems, they subconsciously believe you have the solution.

2. Don't Believe Their First Response

Many people get this wrong because they trust that the person they're speaking with is telling the truth.

I'm not saying that they're outright lying to you. It's just most people don't do any profound reflection on their needs, pains, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. It's also rare that they have someone intently listening to what they have to say.

Day to day conversations are rushed.

People's heads and calendars are full. We live in a world where most are waiting for their turn to talk, instead of actually listening. You want to get passed the superficial responses.

What do I mean?

People don't want to get promoted, get a six pack, become a better speaker, or grow their business. What they're really after is proving to their dad, current partner, or ex that they can do it, feeling confident that they'll be able to afford to put their kids through college or university, or showing their old boss that they were wrong in letting them go.

The full truth is a layer further still: they want the feelings they believe they'll get from achieving the things on the second list. Typically some version of feeling worthy/good enough.

You'll never get to these meaningful responses if you believe their initial answers.

So how do you avoid getting stuck in the shallow end?

3. Get Damn Good at Going Deeper

You're almost there.

Now that you're focusing on the right person and not taking their initial answers at face value, you just need to practice digging deeper. Once you get good at doing this, you'll be amazed at the "ahas" people have in your disco sessions. You'll build connections with substance and you'll enroll more people.

How you do this has a lot less to do with the first question you ask.

Instead, it's your ability to dig further on the answers they give. You do that by asking simple follow-up questions like this:

  • Why is that?
  • Walk me through X?
  • Tell me more about Y? 
  • Help me understand Z?
  • Why do you believe this?
  • What's an example of that?
  • What if you could do XYZ, then what?

Another way to go deeper is leveraging Chris Voss Jedi magic.

Chris Voss is a well-known ex FBI hostage negotiator turned trainer. He teaches an approach called mirroring that feels like magic. It's where you repeat the key 2-3 words from what someone just answered and do it in an upward tone like you're asking a question.

It looks like this:

  • Your initial question: What stopping you from asking for the promotion?

  • Their answer: I'm worried what my boss will say

  • You follow up with: "boss will say?"

When you're leading with genuine curiosity, you can ask multiple probing questions in a row.

Now go change the way you do your disco calls so you can get more meaningful answers, build deeper connections, and help more people.


When you're ready, here's two ways I can help you:  

1. Inquire to work with me 1:1 (one opening available in Feb) here.  

2. Get my best-selling book, Die Before They Do, here.



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