The Big Taboo (6 Moments That Drastically Changed My Relationship With Money)

Feb 18, 2023
Read time: 4.5 minutes

It's one of THE most taboo topics on the planet.
Many coaches who are in this work to make a meaningful impact struggle with it. And while most can list the ways that their life would be better if they had more of it, few dare to openly discuss it. What is this forbidden subject?
I've met hundreds of coaches who fit this description: They were once stuck in an area of their life and coaching helped them immensely, so now they're driven to use what they've learned on their journey to make a difference. They want to help others suffer less and thrive. And they never ever want to seem like they are in any way driven by money (to themselves or the people around them).
That would be out of alignment with their values and beliefs.
So they avoid money. They don't talk about it, don't learn about it, and don't review the money beliefs they've been carrying for decades.
Unfortunately, this reluctance to review their relationship with money sets them up for a crappy and somewhat predictable outcome: They struggle with money. There never seems to be enough of it, they spend it as quickly as they get it, they're afraid to raise their rates, and they continue trading their time for money like an employee even though they're an entrepreneur.
You can say you want time freedom, to not have to worry about money, and to be able to take your family on a European vacation, but guess what those all need, money.
And if you're truly driven by wanting to help others, let me ask you this...

How much more present could you be with both your family and your clients if you weren't stressed about money? What skills, knowledge, and experiences could you acquire to better help your clients if you had more time and money to invest in your own growth?
I'm not one to talk about my revenue publicly, instead, what I love to share are the results of my clients.
That said, I will share one fact to frame today's message: In 2022, I made more than two and a half times what I earned when I was making six-figures as a Director of People + Culture in tech.
But I haven't always had a great relationship with money.

Quite the opposite. If you've read my book, then you know that my parents struggled with money and were renters most of their lives because they couldn't afford the downpayment on a house, I've had my debit card decline while buying groceries for my family, and 10 years ago I was $28K in debt.

The 6 Moments That Drastically Changed My Relationship With Money

1. One million, Two Million, Three Million
Before I launched Growth Habit, I coached CEOs and leadership teams. One day, I was providing feedback to a CEO on an important speech they had to give to hundreds of people. As they stepped up to the microphone for a dry run in an empty auditorium, they said six words which blew my mind: "one million, two million, three million". This is how they did a microphone check. In an instant, I realized that while we breathed the same air, they saw the world much differently than me.
2. Rich People Are Assholes
It was October 2017 and I was sitting in a weekend workshop when they had us do an exercise of completing simple prompts to uncover our beliefs. One of them was "Rich people are______". I wrote the first thing that came to mind without thinking: assholes. Seeing my answer written in front of me hit me a like punch in the face. How could I ever hope to attract and keep financial wealth if deep down I believed having money would make me an asshole? It would be impossible.
3. I Can't Believe it's $5K vs I Can't Believe it's ONLY $5K
A couple years ago, I was talking to perspective clients about enrolling them in a $5K program I had. On two separate calls, only 90 minutes apart, I received drastically different reactions. The first one said "I can't believe it's five thousand dollars, how can you charge that much?". The second one responded "I can't believe it's only five thousand dollars, that has me doubting you can help me get the results I want." There are clients at every price point and the price of your offer can radically dictate the perceived value.
4. I Can't Make Payroll
It was a week before Christmas and one of my entrepreneur clients was unravelling under a cash crunch. Several of their clients were late in making payments to them and it meant that they weren't going to be able to make payroll. They weren't going to be able to pay their team just days before Christmas. Without hesitating, I said "I'll lend you the money". I met them at the bank that afternoon and gave them $10K in cash. Only a few years before I was clawing my way out of debt, now I was able to lend someone ten thousand dollars without blinking.
I took this picture that day. This is what 10K Canadian dollars looks like. 

5. When You're Just Starting Out and Are at Less Than 1 Million
I was listening to an entrepreneur share their journey of growing their business on a podcast. As they walked through the different phases they said "when you're just starting out and are at less than 1 million dollars a year". What? This one sentence smashed my previously held belief of what it meant to be "just starting out" and set a massively larger new limit of what I believed was possible.
6. $30K For a Six Month Program
A couple weeks ago, I wired someone $30K for a six month program. This is the most I've invested in myself at once. What surprised me is it didn't feel scary or intimidating. I actually felt calm and aligned as I signed the forms to send the money. Something new unlocked in me the moment the money was transferred. I'm taking massive action on things that I've been thinking about doing for months (and months), my current clients are stepping up in immense ways, and I'm attracting clients who want to play bigger.
If you want a different relationship with money, check your money beliefs, challenge the ones that don't serve you, embrace talking about money instead of avoiding it, and surround yourself with people who see money differently than you (even if only virtually to start).

See you next Saturday.

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